Funny hitchhiking signs
Veteran hitchhiker Patrick Falterman reckons the best way to get a lift is to get a laugh. Here, he shares his favourite humorous hitchhiking signs…
Every hitchhiker loves to make signs while they’re on the open road. I guess there’s something about that old image of a drifter holding a piece of cardboard with the word ‘anywhere’ scribbled on it that feeds the hopeless romantic in all of us.
Making a sign can often help you get a quicker ride, too. But when making a sign, remember that one of the most useful tools available to a hitchhiker is a sense of humour.
Here is a compilation of funny, crude, effective, and sometimes just plain out-there hitchhiking signs that I have collected from fellow travellers. Keep in mind that not all of these should be used on the road; some I’ve just put on here because they make me chuckle. Use at your own discretion, and utilise that noggin, you dope.
‘Won’t Kill You!’
– Digihitch.com
‘Freshly Showered!’
– Digihitch.com
‘Maybe I’m Jesus’
– MN
‘Not on the run’
– Mtn Bum
‘I didn’t escape, I was released’
– MN
‘Free weed!’
– MN
‘Free weed?’
– Mtn Bum
‘I smelled worse yesterday’
– MN
‘Almost there!’
– Mtn Bum
‘I have an English accent’
– Kabuki Mono
‘I won’t testify!’
– Mtn Bum
‘This sign used to be my house’
– MN
‘Lost it all in Vegas’
– Mtn Bum
‘Keep driving if you’re a jackass’
– Mtn Bum
‘HURRY! And we can catch the hot chick two cars ahead of you!’
– Mtn Bum
‘How about THIS time?’
– MN
‘It’s a pickup truck for f*%!sake!’
– Mtn Bum
‘I’m not in a position to be choosy’
– Kabuki Mono
‘Take me to your leader’
– Nick R.
‘I don’t find my situation funny’
– Kabuki Mono
‘…dying…’
Kabuki Mono
‘I’ll hide your stash’
– Mtn Bum
‘I’ll sing backup’
– Mtn Bum
‘My sister’s cute – she’s in the next town’
– Kabuki Mono
‘I saw what you did back there’
– MN
‘In my country, the middle finger means you’re stopping’
– MN
‘Will agree with you’
– MN
Patrick Falterman took up hitchhiking when it dawned on him that he didn’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket from Houston to the Amazon. Five years – and many miles – later, he is currently canoeing down the Amazon. You can follow his adventures on his blog, Hitch The World.
Main image: ‘Don’t pickup hitchhikers’ (Shutterstock)
